How do you say goodbye when your friend has died? This world has lost a beautiful soul and it’s too late to do anything for him. But I at least wanted to share these photos with his family and friends, in the hope his cheeky face will bring a smile to theirs.
My friend Simon passed away after a tragic series of events. Soon his body will turn to ashes and return to the earth and atmosphere, but his energy will remain with those of us who were touched by his presence.
I met Simon in Newquay, Cornwall UK when I was living there, travelling in my late teens. I lived in a hostel by Fistral Beach with some of the best people I’ve ever met – a bunch of surfers who gave me the best summer of my life. Simon, a bodyboarder, was one of them. One day a letter had arrived in the mail box for a “Mr S. P. Ankers”. From then on Simon was lovingly known to us as Spankers.
We had a solid summer with 30 or so good friends living together, creating endless good times. One of these was the annual Fistral Backpackers Surf Comp and Party, and that year the theme was “Pimps and Prostitutes” – that’s my excuse for the bad makeup and outfit pictured here. Spankers was looking sharp!
Spankers and me at the 2003 Fistral Backpackers “Pimps and Prostitutes” Party
A few years later Spankers came to Australia and needed a place to stay. He ended up in the spare room of my share house on the Sunshine Coast, where I lived with 3 Swedish friends who were also studying photography. An old soul and deeply contemplative, he would often turn a simple conversation into a long philosophical exploration, sometimes losing us on his tangents. I remember my Swedish friends asking “What do you mean Mr Spankers?” A smile would break out across his face and he’d snap back into lighthearted conversation.
Spankers had a distinct look and I asked him if he would pose for me, for a few of my different photography assignments. We were shooting on black and white Ilford film at the time, which I processed and developed in the darkroom. I scanned the negatives last week – here they are with all the dust, scratches and chemical marks.
Spankers posing for a photo. I was working on a music folio, with the goal of getting hired by Rolling Stone. Photographed in 2005 or 2006
Spankers’ passing reminded me one of the reasons I was drawn to photography, after my own sister passed away. Through photographs we are able to capture something that is so true, timeless and real about our loved ones. When they are gone in body, shimmerings of their energy seem to remain in those photographs and can remind us that they are nearby – in spirit and in time. Somehow when we look at the image, the time between us can disappear and what can sometimes seem like a lifetime of separation suddenly becomes just a flash.
I’ve had four friends pass away over the past three years – two from cancer and two from sudden and unexpected medical incidents. I can never quite believe it, especially as each of those friends has lived abroad and I never got to say goodbye in the flesh. It leaves me wondering if it has really happened. That’s the problem I suppose, with travelling and meeting so many amazing people in different places.
I know you’re okay Spankers. I’m sure you’re out there exploring the outer edges of the universe which your pondered so often. You probably have been since you fell into that coma. Although I haven’t seen you for years, I never expected to have to say goodbye so soon. It was great knowing you. I’ll see you again some day.
I’ll be looking for a new star twinkling in the sky tonight.
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